Expectations

"X is meant to be tough, but not so tough that you're set up to fail."

Last night I said the above to my son, with "x" being replaced with "school," when he was complaining about having too many quizes to study for. I obviously agreed with him in this instance.

But the "x" could be just as easily replaced with any number of words, including "work" and "life." And saying this to my ten-year-old got me thinking about expectations.

There is a fine line between a "stretch goal" and being set up to fail. If the goal is self-imposed, it's up to you to know your strengths, limits, and what's tough but achievable.

But what if it's set by your boss and you realize it's just not doable? Hopefully you don't feel that you're intentionally being set up to fail; if you are, that's another issue and can be dealt with in another post. Chances are, your boss just isn't aware because she hasn't done your job, so if you make a strong case, backed up by hard facts, she'll hopefully see the light. If she doesn't, clearly document your progress, bottlenecks, conflicts, issues, etc. so that you have a documented case to prove that you accomplished as much as was possible.

And if you're going into a new situation, whether at work or home, take the time to have your and the other party's expectations spelled out at the onset of the relationship. You know what they say about assuming...

The Road Not Taken: from Frost to Jobs

Two roads diverged in a wood,  and I,  I took the one less traveled by,  And that has made all the difference.

(Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken) 

Have you ever read a poem or heard a song that really resonated within you? One that you could not forget or stop analyzing its meaning? One that you felt was almost written for you?

When I first read Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken, it did all that for me. It didn't compel me to always take the less traveled road, but it made me realize that choices, once taken, took on a life of their own. It compelled me to live a life where I avoided any and all what if's to the best of my ability. So if there was a boy who seemed to be interested but didn't have the courage to ask me out, I'd somehow force myself to start that conversation so that I wouldn't sit around thinking "what if." Conversely, if a relationship seemed to be headed nowhere, even if it hurt to do so, I'd start the conversation that was the beginning of the end. All to avoid the "what if" of lost opportunities or roads not taken.

As I grew up, this became more difficult so I modified my motto of avoiding what if's to staying true to myself at any given moment. At times this meant going out on a limb or making unpopular decisions, but if I couldn't see an alternative I could live with, then there was no other choice. I'd learned the difference between right and wrong and the boundaries of what was necessary--whether to succeed in business or in life--and what was wrong, under any and all circumstances. I make mistakes, but I try not to cross that line.

This is something I was raised with, and then took upon myself, so it's become so ingrained that I rarely think about it. But listening to Steve Jobs' Stanford Commencement speech, reminded me of why I took this upon myself, of why I was so adamant to avoid those what if's at first and the regrets later. He reminded me that we cannot "connect the dots going forward," so we must do what is right for us and have faith that all will work out. I think we can all use that reminder.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs’ Stanford Commencement Address                                                                 

Time Management and Focus

Content may be king, but its cousin Information has gone slumming and is now available to all.

Having too much to do has become the norm, so how do you contend with that in addition to the information overload? Constant e-mails, meetings, tweets, blog posts, etc.--all necessary for you to stay on top of your job/industry and all vying for the limited time you have. How is one to manage?

Contrary to common belief, multitasking is not the way to go; focusing on one task at a time is. If you try to do everything, you will invariably make mistakes and not do anything to the best of your ability. Instead, choose a system of prioritizing and devote x amount of time to a given task. For example, if you have to read a long report for a meeting the next day, spend an uninterrupted half an hour; or better yet, pick a natural stopping point. When you get to that point, take a break and quickly check e-mail then go back to the report until the next stopping point. This will allow you to be more efficient and thorough in your task since you will not be dealing with distractions.

So similar to my previous post where I advised, based on reading StandOut, that it's best to focus on your strengths and not try to be good at everything, I am now advising to focus on your present task and not try to do everything. What does the common theme mean? Although our world may be getting more technologically able and automated, we as humans are still programmed to focus and until someone can figure out how to reprogram our DNA, we may as well make the best of it instead of fighting it--and failing.