Mea Culpa

As a mother, I remember having to explain to my son--repeatedly--that it's okay to make a mistake as long as you apologize and learn from it. Now that he's ten years old, I still watch him try to prove that he's right and knows better than the adults in his life. But he's only ten, so that can be forgiven...to a point.

As an adult, I own up to my mistakes and respect peers and staff that do so as well, but I have come across many who do not:

1. The person who will never see his mistake, even when it's glaring and staring him in the face.
2. The person who doesn't care when he's wrong and/or has hurt someone.
3. The person who will always try to blame anyone else for his mistakes.

Some of these people live in their own version of the universe, one where they are king and never wrong; that universe unfortunately is not ours, and therein lies the problem. Others, however, are just afraid.

I'm not sure why my son does not want to admit he is wrong (still working on that), but I do know that in some corporate cultures, people are afraid of losing their jobs and therefore feel the need to deflect any and all blame. Although they choose to act this way, their culture and management are the true culprits.

Can you imagine a culture where people are afraid to argue or make mistakes? I've been reading a lot about teams and what make them work (I highly recommend Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni). Basically, without healthy debate and the opportunity for innovation, teams will not succeed. Neither of these are possible without trust: trust that their leaders will not punish dissent or mistakes.

And that too comes from fear: the leader's fear of being proven wrong and losing face or worst.

So the next time someone disagrees with you, thank them for their trust and feedback and learn from what they've shared. You don't have to ultimately agree, but do actively listen and consider. And the next time you or an employee make a mistake, deal with any repercussions and then stop to consider and learn from this. 

Our muscles need to be "torn down" (via exercise) and worked from different angles to grow stronger and more functional. We need our ideas to be challenged and to have the courage to try--and fail--to continue to grow and develop.